My little jar

So a little while ago I was having quite a hard time coming to terms with the

good day/bad day stuff.

It was hard to remember the good days when the bad days got in on me and

hard to remember things I had accomplished and over come when it came to

my anxiety issues when all I felt was pain and frustration.

Then it came to me.

Light bulb moment!

For my first wedding anniversary which is paper, I had got a jar and filled it with

101 things I love about my husband....... Cheesy huh! Mega cheesy yes!

Well I started to think why could I do that for him and not for myself and that's

how it started.

My mom being my mom gave me a pretty Duiske sweet jar rather than the jam

jar I was going to use.

The first thing that got added to it was the first trip I made to Belfast to see my

Neurologist on my own which was a huge thing for me the two hour drive on

unfamiliar roads and then back again with little to no panic.

I add to it as often as I can even if it something that is small to most people but

is huge to me.

Some days it just making it home when I am walking the dog and have a panic

attack or something bigger for me like finally making it across the playing

fields beside my estate (only managed this once so far).

Then on those bad days when I'm in too much pain to do much and everything

seems to be closing in on me I can see my little jar that's filling up with

successes and good memories and it helps remind me that this will pass.

I will feel alive again and I will continue to have successes no matter how big or

small.

That’s enough to be a little light on those dark days.

Kayt Sept17